do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
