The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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