So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
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