If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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