if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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