i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
