is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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