you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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