My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He felt like a one man threesome
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
