My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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