New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My pussy is not your playground.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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