Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Farmville is her only friend.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is Oprah even human
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
