I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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