my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
