I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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