Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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