Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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