Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize