I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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