I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
