how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you had me at cake vodka
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
