I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So vagazzling was a success
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
