I'm really into asian looking animals
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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