Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
