Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
