You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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