before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
