We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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