i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
