Need sex. Gaining weight.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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