Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
the liver wants what the liver wants
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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