with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
