Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
