It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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