Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
There was a lot of him and a little penis
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
