Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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