I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
