I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
