Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
