so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
