WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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