Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm too high and old for this...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
