Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
