I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
