There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
