I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
