He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
