sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
why do cheetos always look like penises
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
