And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
