Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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