Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I am mentally ready for anal.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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